Today was such an unlucky day for me. I got a quite severe punishment for my mistake. I was mad, I was sad, I felt it was unfair for me to get this punishment.

Living a life is like walking through the woods, we don’t know exactly where we are going. sometimes it rains, sometimes the storms come, sometimes it is bright, we can’t really predict the situation. it is full of wonder, yet we sometimes neglect them. there are times when we must stay, there are times when we must move to another place where we can see things from different angle. There are times we must walk straight, keeping with our principles, yet sometimes we should change our direction. sometimes we trampled over the roots, sometimes we bumped on the branches.

I think today I bumped my face on a hidden branch. this ain’t good. it left a mark on my skin. it was really unexpected. but I think this was also a reminder for me. It reminded me to pay more attention to the road I walk, It reminded me that I was not supposed to go through that place, It reminded me that life is full of unexpected things, it reminded me that I am not in control of my life. It reminded me to surrender my life to the one who surrendered Himself for me.

Everything changes when we see it from a new perspective. good things can be bad, and what seems to be loss can actually be an unmeasurable treasure. Today was not a good day, if I see it from today’s perspective. maybe someday I see this day as another thing that shaped my life, maybe someday i see this day as a good lesson, not a bad punishment.

Today is not a good day, not yet.

Time Drops

And here I am sitting in front of my almost-4-year-old beloved laptop. Going through my very first time of having a birthday without having a morning kiss from my mom and dad. Time really flies, imagine it having wings and flying out of our pocket every second. Well here is a short story from me about time.

Time is like water dripping from our bucket of life from time to time, it can’t stop as it can’t defies the nature of gravity. Sometimes it spills when you live carelessly, sometimes you make additional mistake holes on our bucket, creating another way to waste it.

You decide how to use our drops of water, you decide how to make your time worth to spent. It depends on what you seek from this world. money,fame,love,comfort, it’s up to you. There are two types of vegetation you can choose, the one that stand firm in the midst of a typhoon called death, and the one that will just fly away when death comes. You can use it to water an oak tree to be a shelter in the middle of storms, or some sunflowers to make our lives more ornate.

The visible colourful flowers which smell so good that it attract the others, but it doesn’t last too long. And when the flowers gone, so do the people, because flowers are the only reason they come to you. they come to enjoy it, and even pull it out for their own advantages.

The longer lasting, not easily noticed tree needs more time and more diligence to grow. it is not as attractive as the flowers, but it is more useful, it provides protection for you and for the others, it attracts people too, but wiser people who can see and feel the comfort when they are around you, better people who understand more about how to use the drops of water they own.

So how do you wanna use the water in your bucket of life? some sealants named wisdom and self-control might not stop the drops, but it prevents more leaks on your bucket. When you know what you are chasing, you can make the everlasting out of these finite drops of time :)

This 19 years has been indescribable, full of unexpected events, some of it are well spent, but there are plenty of the time wasted carelessly, ignorantly, and irresponsibly. I hope I would have more self control and wisdom to spent my time, so when the typhoon of death comes, I can embrace it readily, and people could say “She lived a life worth living”

The Light Bulb

Hi, it’s been a while since I last posted here, the last several months have been such time for me to struggle and reflect upon God”s plan and His perfect timing, and I was inspired to write a story, a story of mine, of my friend, of people who struggle to know themselves. please ignore if there are some errors :p


Once a light bulb, a pile of wood, a roll of wire, and a sheet of paper lie on a carpenter’s working table. They talked to each other, both the paper and the wood said “we came from the forest”, the wire said ” I came from an iron mine” while the bulb said “I came from the factory” they got to know each other as days passed away. 

One day the pile of wood went missing, they asked the hammer where are the woods, the hammer said that “the carpenter used them” “what for?” Asked them. “I’m not sure, I just helped him to put some nails on them” 

days passed away and the roll of wire went missing. they asked the pliers about the wire, the pliers said “the carpenter used them” “what for?” Asked them. “I’m not sure, I just helped him to bend and make some angles on it” 
Another days has passed and the sheet of paper went missing. Leaving the bulb alone. He asked the scissors about the paper, the scissors said “the carpenter used them” “what for?” Asked the bulb. “I’m not sure, I just helped him to shape them according to the carpenter’s drawing”

Days passed and the bulb waited such a long time, waiting when will the carpenter use him. He heard the hammer, the scissors, and all other tools telling story about what the carpenter has done to his fellows, the carpenter shaped them, decorated them, and polished them. The bulb felt so sad because he thought he was not going to be picked by the carpenter. “I cannot be nailed, nor painted, the scissors just can’t cut me, and I have nothing to be bent, I think I’m much less useless (⌣́_⌣̀) ” the bulb spent his whole day regretting about his uselessness 

The next day the carpenter went to his table searching for the bulb. “There you are, I’ve prepared everything for you” then he took the bulb, and carry it with him to the other workshop. The bulb saw the woods are now beautifully painted, shaped like a vase. he saw the paper is shaped with the wire supporting it. The carpenter then placed the bulb at the top of the wood, turned the bulb around for several times until the bulb felt so dizzy, he then connected some cables, and turn the electricity on. The bulb was surprised to see his own light shining so brightly. The carpenter then placed the lampshade above the bulb. The bulb finally discovered its purpose and a place where he belongs

We came from different background and perspectives, we have our distinct purpose in our lives. Everyone will undergo certain procedures, some maybe painful, some takes long time to be noticed, some may be shocking and unexpected.
Some people are just like the pile of wood, need to be nailed and hammered, some need to be bent, some need their other part to be eliminated like the paper, some need to be turned around and felt dizzy until they can really be used according to the Creator’s purpose.

Some are painted and decorated beautifully to be displayed like the wood and the paper, others are supporting from inside because of their strength, just like the wire, some people might have the most important role but cannot be seen from outside like the bulb.

Some people are used to shape other people, like the hammer and the scissors, sometimes phenomenons can be deceitful, if you cannot be hammered, nailed, bent, or cut, it doesn’t mean that you are not going to be used, If you constantly think about it, diligently pray, reflect on it and explore it, you will eventually find out the Creator is preparing you for the future in His own way

So, if you have been waiting too long for God to reveal His plan for you, be patient! May be He’s still preparing the lampshade for you :)

The Unexpected

Halo, bulan ini dipenuhi dengan to dan kawan” sejenisnya. Tapi bulan ini gw melewati banyak hal yang tidak terduga…

Bandung, jadi karena hku harapannya udah setipis tisu gue pergi ke bandung cari kosan di unpar, udah lumayan putus asa cari” tempat kos karna yang deket penuh dan yang jauh menyeramkan kalo malem.. ketemu tempat kos deket tapi harus bayar dari sekarang, bonyok gamau bayar dari bulan maret karna dipakenya toh masi agustus. Tak disangka” esoknya gue dapet hal yang lebih baik :D *belom waktunya untuk diceritakan* yah walopun belom ada kos”an yg pasti tapi gue ga pulang dengan tgn kosong *brownies*

Lalu pas hari minggu ke mrii bandung, disana ternyata gw dibilangin ada persekutuan tiap minggu di unpar. Wah ga nyangka banget! Ternyata gue ga akan sehilang yang gw pikirkan ehehe

lalu, uprak baru aja selesai, sebenernya enak sih uprak dateng siang bangun siang *ups* serta pulang cepet, tapi akhirnya uprak harus berakhir..

Uprak fisika adalah yang paling mengejutkan *sejauh ini* karna pertama gue gatau dapet pasangan lab fisika pas banget sama amel padahal sehari sebelomnya udah ketok” meja gamau sm amel abis amel bilang “gue bisa kerja kok, asal lu kasitau gue kerjain apa” -_- yah turns out tidak segabut yang dibayangkan hahaha.

Lalu ada uprak agama, walaupun menurut gua pribadi banyak yang kurang sana sini, di akhir bu yh memuji kelompok gue ktnya memenuhi standar gki gitu haha. sungguh, ga nyangka banget bisa se sukses itu :’)

The other unexpected thing is..
Hari ini tiba” gue dimarahin bu susi karna ktnya gue puter” multitester lab fis, jadi yg hrsnya ngukur amper, jadi ngukur ohm.. trus ktnya gue bikin org” yg di belakang gue salah semua……..

Gue emg itung hambatan, yg gw gatau itu gak disuruh, dan itu salah, tapi sejujur-jujurnya ya, gue bahkan ga yakin gw belom balikin itu puteran jadi amper.

Tapi ya anggep aja gue emang belom balikin, gue minta maaf atas kesalahan bodoh gue, maaf yang sebesar”nya kalo kalian ada yang jadi korban kesesatan gue :/ gue ga sadar samasekali ._.

Jadi hari ini gue belajar, ada banyak hal yang ga bisa gue perkirakan, ya selain biar gue gak sombong, juga buat ingetin untuk selalu bergantung pada yang diatas o:)

There will always be the unexpected things, to remind us that we are not fully on control of everything

Sekian dulu ya gue belom selesai belajar to ;)

Lincoln 1111

Hi, I just want to share this awesome building I discovered in archdaily some months ago. This Lincoln 1111 is built by Herzog & De Meuron, the same firm behind Beijing Bird Nest. Hope it inspires you, enjoy  :)

“our building is really about the value of the ideas”

-Robert Wennet


I’m lost, I am completely clueless about where should I pursue my further education. In fact, I don’t even know what caused me to be such a pathetic being like this despite of unpar acceptance.

Is it the ungrateful me ?

Is it the self-overestimate me?

Or is it my inner self who cannot deal with the truth?

I don’t really know about it. Too tired to think about it right now. All I know, is that God will give the best for me. He has the most suitable plan for me, He will take care of me, and He will eventually make all things beautiful in His time :)

366th Day

Hey, it’s new year’s eve already, time goes sooo fast..

Can’t write a long post today, not in the mood yet don’t have enough time. anyway, this is my new year resolution and wishes :

1. Drive to school

2. SAT 1800

3. Wake up early

4. Read Bible everyday

5. Be more discipline

6. A trip with firends

7. Good UN


2012 is a good year, so many things happened. Thanking God for every single thing happened to me this year, for His grace and mercy towards me. I hope I can learn from all the stupid mistakes I made in 2012, and improve myself to be a better me in the next year. 

2013,  I don’t know which university I’ll be attending, I don’t know what will happened after graduation, after we are all scattered among the universities, I don’t know a thing about tomorrow, but I know my future is in Thy loving hands, and I know He will always take care of me, as He has done to me before. 

Happy New Year :)

Officially 18

Hai, sebenernya udah lama pengen nulis pos ini tapi ga ada waktu karna gw pergi jalan” dan baru sempat sekarang nulis, sembari nungguin pesawat delay *miris* oke jadi gw akan menceritakan ttg hari ultah gue. Jadi sehari sebelum ultah, tgl 12 gw jg nulis pos ttg mini resolusi umur 18 dan harus ngerjain bbrapa tgs gereja juga jadi tidurnya sebenernya udah tgl 13. Ebi ucapin pertama x lewat twitter,tapi itu belom jam 12 sebenernya jadi dia curang ( ‘ 3 ‘ ) Lalu irene lewat bbm, kiki lwt sms, nessa si anak vietnam lwt whatsapp haha. Trus gw tidur, bangun jam 8an lah kira” urusin apply nya NUS, gw pilih kirim berkas aja daripada harus scan 20 halaman lebih lama bener, mending kirim langsung ke perwakilannya di indo beres. Ditengah” beresin berkas ada nicole dateng ke rumah gua, emang rencananya mau jalan bareng hari itu, dia dtg dari belakang, dan suaranya agak gimanaa gitu jd gw serem jg ada yg manggil dari belakang tiba”. Ahahah, cole udh pake rok, sementara gue? Tetap lancai seperti biasa, celanae pendek, kaos, sendal jepit. Hehehe..

Hari itu gw nyetir mobil sendiri! Akhirnya boleh juga hahaha, jadi gw nyetir bareng nicole yg mempertaruhkan nyawanya sama gua, di tengah” jalan mau dengerin lagu trus pencet” tape. tiba” ga bisa nutup tape nya jadi gw suruh cole masukin cd apa aja biar tape nya nutup. Oke trus disitu ada cd bong chandra bokap gua ttg marketing ngakak banget dengerin strategi nya HAHAHA abis itu mau ganti cd tapi ga bs keluarinnya, jadi tinggalah si bong di dalem tape mobil sampe pulang dari cp. Abis itu kita sampe di smuki karna parkir di cp mahal *kopet*

Abis parkir kita ke tokyo kitchen mau makan baked christmas rice, sampe di cp ketemu petir dan amel, pada pake baju rapi padahal gw sendiri lancai wkwk. Abis itu masuk ke tokyo kitchen, gw disuruh duduk belakangin pintu msk, lalu begitu masuk petir sm amel mau ke wc bareng, abis balik amel tutupin mata gua, trus kita main cilukba sama petir, ga lama pas matanya dibuka ada kiki sere dan irene! Yg ktnya plg tgl 15 trnyata gw diboongin haha, Beserta kue ultah dan ada tulisannya “happy birthday jidat” ahaha, abis itu makan sambil ngobrol ttg petir boongnya aneh alesan mau bbq jam 6 jam 12 mau pergi siap siap hahaha *cukup maksa* trus potong kue udah kenyang banget rasanya. Sempet juga makan permen harry potter yg rasanya aneh” gw ga berani cobain hahaha.

Abis itu nonton film 5 cm, keren banget dan banyak ngajarin ttg persahabatan, nasionalisme, dan mengejar mimpi. Rasanya kayak dikasih pelajaran pas ulang taun dan jadi waktu yg tepat buat mengingat pelajaran dan bikin janji sm diri sendiri. Abis itu gw pulang ke rumah *nyetir sambil dengerin bong lagi wkwkwk* dan sambil nunggu dijemput puter dvd a thousand words filmnya jg bagus menurut gue, jd ngajarin ttg menyampaikan sesuatu tanpa perkataan tapi dgn perbuatan. Rasanya banyak dpt pelajaran hari ini. Abis itu malemnya dengerin voice note wishes gitu, petir kasih wishes pas banget lsg terwujud semoga dibolehin nyetir sendiri wkwk. ochi nyanyi lucu bgt lagi pake bahasa aslinya. “zhu ni sheng ri kuai le ho!ho!” Lol dan wishes lainnya yg kocak dan so sweet juga *tidak boleh di ekspos trlalu banyak* ehehe. Bokap gua lagi super sibuk hari itu jadi gw sekeluarga nggak makan” bareng.

Ulang tahun gua agak berbeda kali ini, entah karena ga lengkap temen” nya atau karna ga makan keluar atau karna kegeeran mau di surprisin HAHA. Tapi gw bersyukur karna hari itu gw dapet banyak pelajaran berharga dari film, dan kehadiran org” yg deket dgn gw adalah hadiah yg paling berharga dibalik kue dan suprise yg dikasih. Mengingat taun terakhir di sma, gw makin menghargai waktu sama keluarga dan teman” sekalian. Kue dan hadiah bisa dibeli, tapi kehadiran orang” yg gw sayang, priceless :’)

I’m 18, looking forward to see a better me in this 18th chapter of my life :)

Menjelang 18

12.12.12 angka yang bagus untuk nikahan, lahiran, jadian, dll. Bahkan temen gw ada yg berniat jadian 5 menit biar tanggalnya bagus. Hahaha\

Hari ini diawali dengan sebuah tangan yang membungkam gua kyk mau nyulik orang, otomatis gw kaget karna ga bs napas, abis itu kedengeran suara org teriak, aneh bgt tapi gw masih ngantuk banget jadi gw tidur lagi. Terus abis itu ada suara lagi, kali ini 2 org teriak dan itu suaranya wendy dan janet -__- gw kira mreka be2 celeng trus main truth or dare x trus berlaku aneh. Trus gw bangun dan blg “gila lu ya” trus tidur lagi hahaha.. abis itu kedengeran suara” berisik dan keliatan ada yg gerak” dari cahaya bawah pintu, ga berapa lama wendy dan janet masuk trus bangunin gw sama deli. *padahal tadinya sebelah gua jc tapi berubah jd deli* deli dibangunin lebih susah dari gua, pas gw liat kamar gw sempet bingung orang di ranjang seberang, trus diseret keluar.

Ada cowok pake hoodie gelap dan nunduk bikin takut jg sih terus ada yg loncat tiba” tpi gw jd ga takut karna ketauan bgt itu mau nakutin -__- setelah lama nunggu deli jalan, gw disuru ke depan pintu dapur. Pas dibuka teman” semua nyanyiin happy birthday pake gitar dan ada lilin bentuk hati, di tengah” ada kue dgn lilin 17 & 18, yang 17 punya deli, yg 18 punya gue :$ berasa tua hahaha, abis itu make a wish dan bagi” kue, mau kasih kue ke nicole tapi dia sudah tergeletak tak bernyawa, first cake kasih janet :* hihi Abis itu yg cowok” nonton bola dan gue kembali tidur hehe..

Besok gua 18, makin tua deh.. hari ini gw merenungkan di umur 17 ini gua udah ngapain aja selama setaun, ada kemajuan dan kemunduran gw jadi makin males belajar kyknya, makin sering begadang buat belajar karena ngatur waktunya ga bener, makin suka tunda” kerjaan. Suka lupa baca Alkitab, suka ketiduran, dan tetap teledor huhuhu. Kemajuannya.. hmm makin banyak baca buku, bisa mantepin kuliah dan jurusannya, 3 piala futsal, makin sering pelayanan main piano, dll. Lebih lengkapnya pas akhir tahun aja.

Chapter 17 akan segera berakhir dan chapter 18 akan dimulai, cerita dalem kehidupan kita gak akan bisa dihapus, tapi masih ada halaman” kosong untuk menuliskan cerita yang lebih indah dan lebih baik. Di tahun yang ke 18 ini gw berharap gw bisa makin baik, jadi org yg lebih disiplin, lebih teges ambil keputusan, dan lebih bijak tentunya. mungkin terdengar muluk tapi gw ingin jadi orang yang membawa perbedaan di dalam hidup orang lain dan itu dimulai dengan membawa perbedaan di dlm hidup gue, dimulai dari hal” yg paling kecil. Semoga post ini nggak jadi motivasi sementara tapi juga untuk seterusnya :)

Lessons Learnt

Hai! sudah lama sekali gak ngepos lagi di sini, hari ini gw selesai ulangan umum rasanya lega sekali, sebenernya udah slesai dari tanggal 3 sih, cuma ada klasikal BI.. klasikal yang nggak penting, tapi untung cuma BI, smak lain klasikal banyak banget. Hari ini nonton bioskop setelah lama sekali tidak duduk di bangku bioskop. terakhir ntn filem avengers :$

Selama ini banyak sekali yang telah gw lewati, Mulai dari keseleo pas smuki cup (tapi juara 1 :’) ) lalu apply uni yang sampe sekarang belom semuanya tuntas, ulangan smuki yang seperti biasa bertubi-tubi menjelang uub, tragedi SAT subject test, dan banyak kegalauan lainnya, tpi gw bersyukur gw ga melewati itu sendiri, selalu ada teman-teman yang membantu dan menghibur :)

Gw belajar banyak hal yang berharga lewat beberapa peristiwa yang ga menyenangkan beberapa bulan terakhir ini. awalnya gw sempet susah menerima kenyataan, tapi pada akhirnya gw belajar untuk tidak menyesali suatu pintu yang tertutup dan mulai menghargai pintu yang terbuka karena pintu yang terbuka itu ternyata jauh lebih berharga. Belajar memaafkan dan merelakan, belajar jadi lebih dewasa dan nggak childish, belajar mengerti apa itu menghargai apa yang ada dan belajar tidak mengeluh tentang apa yang tidak ada, intinya gw belajar hal” yang ga akan gw plajari kalo ga ada peristiwa yang cukup ga enak buat gua, dan gw bersyukur bisa belajar tentang hal itu :)


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